I really can explain.....

I know your interest is piqued. What do I need to explain? What guilty deed have I done that needs to be atoned for? Well, to be honest, I have four pairs of bowling shoes. To make matters worse, I barely ever bowl. I think it's best to start at the beginning to help understand how I arrived at my four shoe status. So, obviously, at one point I had no bowling shoes. I think I was in Los Angeles, and I went into a shop and saw the two tone blue suede Merc bowling shoes. I thought they looked good and they were purely for fashion and not bowling. They had a small smudge in the leather and the lady who owned the shop was practically giving them away, so I got them. There's one. a few years later I was thinking about shoes (as you do) and thought about all the stories of the kids from the 60's wanting bowling shoes and just going to the local alley and renting them, then walking out with them. In an effort (at the time) to be true to my lifestyle, I went on the hunt. I went to a local alley with the intent of actually bowling, when the counter guy gave me a brand new pair of shoes, in the iconic blue and red leather. There was my chance to follow in the footsteps of mods everywhere, so I stole them. There's two. Fast forward a couple more years, ebay for a pair of Merc cord bowling shoes. No cute story there, already had two, what's one more? besides, they are corduroy bowling shoes! How cool is that? So get off my back, Hitler. There's three. And lastly, the final pair came by accident, honestly. My parents are avid garage sale shoppers. My request was for them to keep and eye out for a vintage bowling bag for the few times I actually went bowling (without my three pairs of bowling shoes, I might add). Next visit to their house they had shown me the sweet bag they found for a $1! it gets better, there was a ball inside, already drilled to my finger size!! but wait, there's more!! Under the ball in the bag was a brand new pair of white bowling shoes (in my exact size none the less). Apparently the elderly gentleman who they belonged to previously was a bowling, got this new ball and shoes, and never used them. Bonus for me. So, there's four. The recap? I wear the blue suede and cord ones the most, the ones I nicked from the alley almost never get worn (more of a trophy than footwear), and the white ones only get worn when I bowl (imagine that). So there you have it, there's my explanation. And before you think that I am in someway asking for forgiveness or understanding for having them all, I am not. I wanted them, I got them. Screw you, I have four pairs of bowling shoes.